These past couple of weeks have been somewhat out of control...
All summer it seemed like I had this huge gorilla on my back, and I kept ignoring it, hoping it would just go away. Well it didn't and school was only a week away. I was so excited for all of my girlfriends to get back to town, but when they finally did it was so hard to put a smile on my face and get the energy to go out. I felt like I had failed, and I was so unhappy with myself. So your probably wondering what was on my mind...
Well...I realized I didn't want to be a teacher, in my last semester on courses right before methods. I didn't tell anyone, not even my husband because I felt like I failed at everything.
Things started to look up when I went to coffee at Grounds for Thought (now my favorite coffee shop!) with a couple of friends and we got to talking about the future. I stayed pretty quiet and listened to everyone else talk because I really didn't want anyone to know what I was going through. Well as we got talking, I realized I wasn't the only one in my position. I am told this is actually quite normal...and after a little bit, I was able to come clean about all of my doubts. Its amazing how getting out with your girlfriends and talking can really help a person.
So after talking to my girlfriends, I felt about 50% better, and I knew I needed to talk to Ryan because he always has the right advice. I was absolutely amazed at how calm and unsurprised Ryan was by my problem. I guess I was figuring to get some crazy reaction from him telling me I was out of my mind, crazy, stupid,
ect. (even though that is something he would never do). He told me I needed to pray and really think about what I wanted to do and make it happen. So
thats exactly what I did and it didn't take long. I went to bed that night, said my prayers and fell asleep. I woke up at around 2 A.M. with this need to get online and do a little research. I got online and went to
BGSU's page and started looking into other degrees just for information.
I know that I love working with people, I know that I have a huge place in my heart for children and anyone with
exceptionalities but I still don't know what to do...but I came across another major in the college of education. Developmental Disabilities and Rehabilitation. For some reason it jumped out at me....but I was still so unsure about what to do so I thought it would probably be best to sit down with my advisor. Well long story short...after meeting with her and being passed to a few other advisor everything fell into place and I haven't felt this relieved in months. Basically all I needed was 15 more credit hours to finish up this new degree and I also qualified to have my old major as my minor. And I was told I would graduate in December.
Graduating in December....everything was so great, until I got this news. It was so soon!!! I
dont even know what I want to do, what I can do, what am I going to do? This is still going through my mind, and I have some options but regardless my undergraduate days are soon coming to an end. I know its a good thing, but its scary.
Ok terrifying! But
heres whats new...
Ryan and I have been talking a lot about where and what we want to do with our lives. Although Bowling Green has been good to us, and its been an amazing couple of years here, its not anywhere I want to settle in. I might have been born in raised in a small town, but I am a city girl. I love the fast paced lifestyle, and
thats what keeps me going. If you know me well...you know I love love love Chicago. I used to be obsessed with New York, but after visiting Chicago over and over for the past couple of years, its everything I want in a place to live. So if its Gods will, and I really really hope it is...then this will soon be our new home. The only thing holding us back is jobs. So
thats what is going to be taking over our lives right now. Even though I still have no direction in my future career, I planning to search for possibly a nanny position for the time being or if that doesn't work out, maybe
AmeriCorps would be good as well. I am just looking for something to keep me busy, and happy until I can figure out what my next step needs to be!
So everyone...please keep us in your prayers and hopefully everything will fall into place!
